Medium Rare Please

How to Grill Lobster

2009-07-14T16:32:00.000-07:00

Most seafood is on the list of anti-inflammatory goodness, with a few noticeable exceptions such as talapia, Mediterranean sea bass, and any fish that starts with the word, "cat." Stay away from those as a general guideline and eat the occasional lobster with gusto. Here's how to grill 'em.

Step one: butterfly your lobster tails by turning them upside down (lil' swimmers facing you), and make an incision from the bottom to the top. Then whack all the way through the top part leaving just the flipper flap holding it together. Following are pictures of all that just in case I made it too confusing.The whack

Next you want to pull the meat away from the exoskeleton, but not all the way, which means you'll still leave a connecting piece close to the end. You want to be able to get butter underneath the meat as well as on top of it. Same as with Cap'n Shrimpy's butterflied shrimp. While you're at it, make the same melted butter with garlic. You'll be needing it very soon. Here's what the "pulling away" process looks like.
So far, so good? Good! Because the next part is the easy part. Fire up the grill to medium hotish. My gas grill thermometer, which I'm sure is totally inaccurate, reads about 400. Get your melted garlic butter ready and give it all a good shellakin' before you even introduce your tails to the fire.

Throw 'em on, armor side down and watch very carefully. Shouldn't take more than ten minutes, and possibly way less. Baste with butter every two minutes. When your tails are almost totally opaque, flip them for the big finish for only a minute. Then take them off and baste once more, cause you just can't have too much butter when you're dealing with lobster.

before:After:

I'm not suggesting you eat this much butter every day, but you probably won't have lobster every day, either. Just special occasions. Like when they go on sale. Or Sundays.

Coconut Flour Pancakes, Man

2009-07-11T11:38:00.000-07:00

If you are looking for a truly guilt free way to eat pancakes that have the bonus quality of not putting you into a deep postprandial coma, you've come to the right place. Everyone loves them, see:

Coconut flour is gluten free, and high in fiber. It's also right tasty in certain applications, the following being one of my favorite. Here's what you need:
Three Tbs coconut oil or melted butter
Three Tbs coconut milk or heavy cream
Three Tbs coconut flour
Three eggs (notice a pattern here?)
Honey- probably about a Tbs, but I just squirt a big glop in the batter and it always comes out fine. Measuring honey takes too long.
1/4 Tsp baking powder (I've left it out and it still came out fine)
1/4 Tsp vanilla extract
1/4 Tsp almond extract (both extracts can be excluded is you don't have them, but it would be a lot cooler if you did)
A pinch of salt-- I prefer kosher salt or sea salt, but whatever.

That's it. I also tend to add pecans or blueberries or bananas or some combination (pecans and blueberries for today), but these things are great straight up.

Start with the eggs. I've discovered that whisking them until they're a pale yellow somehow makes them better in the recipe, although I'm not sure why. Next, whisk in the coconut oil. You really have to whisk it so it emulsifies with the eggs or you'll get solid chunks of coconut oil floating in the batter. Coconut oil solidifies at 75 degrees or so, and most people refrigerate their eggs. Whisk in the cream or coconut milk. Whisk in the flour, honey, and then everything else except blueberries if you're using them. I always add the blueberries a few at a time to the pancakes as I make them to avoid the batter turning blue, like that chick in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.

Heat up your pancake pan of choice. I have two. One is a giant cast iron griddle that takes a crane to get it out of the drawer, and the other is a non stick job that I usually end up using because it weighs less and I don't want to hurt my back making breakfast. That would be stupid.

A word on coconut oil-- there are multiple types and brands out there, so I've done some homework for you. As far as brands go, I don't think you can do better than Wilderness Family Naturals, which is a company that is owned and operated by a large homeschooling family in Minnesota. There are multiple types of coconut oil, and for the pancakes we use the extra virgin, cold pressed, centrifuge extracted oil, which has a coconutty flavor. There is also cold pressed extra virgin, but without the centrifuging, and it taste much more neutral for things that you don't want to taste like coconut. These oils are high in lauric acid, which is a saturated fat that has anti-microbial and anti-viral properties, and can be easily digested and turned into energy by your body. Lauric acid is one of the components of mother's milk, too. Feel free to check me on all of this...We also use WFN's coconut flour, too:After you get everything mixed, start making pancakes. I'm sure you know how, but here's some pics, just in case:The taste is definitely coconut tinged, and the texture isn't going to be what you're used to, but there is no doubt that they're delicious. Add that to the fact that they're good for you, and what you've got is health food for breakfast, which is a notoriously difficult meal for healthy choices. And the boys love them, just like they said.

Tater Town

2009-07-07T16:04:00.000-07:00

In my attempts to avoid grains (see here for why), and with my love of starchy carbs still fully intact, I've been eating more potatoes these days. And this has caused me to rip off things I've seen on the Food Network or in cookbooks or whatever. This is one of those recipes. I would give the appropriate credit, but I really can't recall the details. Just know I wasn't smart enough to come up with this on my own, and we'll go ahead and get on with it.

I also don't have many pictures of the actual process of this creation, but the final product should tell you all you need to know. Oh, I'll be giving you the usual descriptions with my cheerful interjections thrown in for free. Fear not.

First, get yourself a potato and make vertical slices most of the way through it. Leave it intact on the bottom so it will stay in one piece. Preheat your oven to 400 degrees. Get yourself some fat garlic cloves and cut them into thin slices too. Stuff these thin slices between the tater slices, dump olive oil over the top along with a good pinch of kosher salt and wrap the whole thing in some foil. Bake for 40 minutes. Open the foil and sprinkle with sesame seeds. We used black and white cause it looks cool. Cook for another 20 to 30 minutes. There you have it- a simple way to change up your usual tater routine. You should really click on these pictures to see the full sized versions in order to pump up your food lust. You know, if you're into that.

Ghee for You, Ghee for Me

2009-04-08T19:31:00.000-07:00

First off, don't believe the hype about saturated fats. You actually need some, and there are certain fatty acids in butter and coconut oil specifically that are anti-viral, anti-microbial, and generally just good for you. Ghee, for the uninitiated, is butter with the milk solids removed. The advantage of this is that the smoke point rises and the butter/ghee won't burn nearly as fast like olive oil or regular butter. Plus it tastes great. But enough talk- making ghee is easy, and the following will be more of a picture essay than a lot of words. I will inject some witty banter here and there, so don't you worry. First off, take a pound (four sticks, one box) of unsalted butter and add it to a pan over medium low heat.

Melt it slowly.

You will get some white foam that rises to the top. This is part of the milk solids. Skim them off the top with a spoon. You can keep the solids to spread on other stuff if you want, although I usually throw it away since I don't really eat bread or other stuff that I would be spreading mild solids on.

Once you get it skimmed, the butter will start to clarify (Ghee is sometimes called "clarified butter."). Keep cooking it on low/medium low to get it as clear as possible.

There will still be some solids on the bottom. Start watching them, and when they start to turn light brown it's time to strain. You can use a coffee filter if you have no fancy pants strainer. I have a fancy pants strainer, so that's what you see here.

I also have a glass jar to keep the finished product in. You can use whatever you want, but I prefer glass. Once your ghee cools you can store it a room temperature. Actually, I suggest that you do exactly that so your ghee will be soft and easy to use.

Once your ghee is solid it will turn a pale, beautiful yellow that you will now forever associate with the flavors of good eatin'. It's now time to saute something.

Happy New Year, and Tomatillo Sauce

2009-01-05T06:52:00.000-08:00

The new year is here, and I think you should put this on your list of resolutions: make more sauces. I say this because I already have the pictures taken of this particular sauce, but also because nothing makes a home cooked dinner seem fancy like a good one. And in this case, nothing makes tacos or scrambled eggs more delicious. As a bonus, this stuff is also actually good for you.

You've probably had some sort of tomatillo sauce in your local Texican food dive- it's the green stuff next to the red stuff. You've probably also seen tomatillos in the store and wondered what they are and what people do with them. They're the green, tomatoey looking things with the weird pale green paper looking cover. Go buy eight of them, along with a Spanish onion (or any sweet, yellowish onion), some garlic, a jalepeno or two, and an Anaheim pepper (they're the long green ones like you see in the following picture). You could also use a poblano, or any other pepper combination. Cause, you see, this ain't rocket science. Preheat your oven to 400 degrees. Farrenheit. Quarter the onion and remove the paper skin from one garlic clove and all the tomatillos (they'll be slightly sticky under their covers) and douse the whole lot with some light olive oil, or canola, or whatever. Also salt and pepper.Blast 'em in the oven for 20-30 minutes. They'll get this color or brown, which is the minimum. I could have easily gone another ten minutes.Peel the charred skin of the Anaheim, de-seed the peppers if you want a milder sauce, then put it all in a blender, along with any accumulated juices from your pan.

Blend. You may have to add a little water to thin it out, or if you feel extra fancy, some white wine vinegar. I added nothing.
Apply finished product to tacos, eggs, or whatever else sounds good. Bonus trivia I recently learned watching the Food Network: tomatillos are members of the gooseberry family. I have no idea what that really means, but I'm sure Wikepedia does if you feel so inclined.

Braised Cabbage

2008-11-08T12:07:00.000-08:00

I have to give the credit for this one to Molly Stevens, the author of All about Braising. The colder months are all about stews and soups and pot roasts, and All about Braising is one if the best books out there for one-pot meals that make your whole house smell like Northern Italy. Out of the many recipes in the book, this is one of our favorites, which is strange because there is no meat involved.

So here's what you need: One head of cabbage, a small yellow onion, a couple of carrots, salt, pepper, chili flakes, and about a quarter cup of chicken stock (or water if you're lame). You'll also need some sort of baking dish that can be put under the broiler. You're not supposed to use Pyrex under the broiler- a fact I just discovered- but I do anyway. But you shouldn't. Or if you do you shouldn't blame me if your dish explodes and your house burns down or whatever.

A whole head of cabbage will fill two 9x13 ~~Pyrex~~ dishes, and brother, that adds up to some cheap eating. Heat your oven to 325.

First just divide the cabbage into some thick wedges. Try and keep the core attached at the bottom of the wedges so it'll all stay together. This is especially important when it comes time in the middle of the cooking to flip everything over. Peel and chop your carrots (I always slice mine on the bias so they'll look cooler), and cut your onion into thin ribbons (cut root to stem, turn them to the flat side and slice in the sagital plane. Like that head in the lab.).

Nestle all your onions and carrots into the dish and set the cabbage on top of that. Give it all a good dousing in olive oil and sprinkle with salt and pepper and the chili flakes. Pour in the quarter cup of chicken stock (or water). You need that much stock/water per baking dish, by the way. I had some homemade stock on hand for today, but when I don't I use chicken soup base, which you just mix with water. It's a lot more conveinent than buying the boxed stuff.

Now all you have to do is tightly seal some foil around your baking dish(es), and throw them in your now preheated oven. Set a timer for an hour, and go weave a basket.

After an hour, flip everything over. Try and keep them together, but a little messiness will ensue no matter how hard you try. Back into the oven for another hour, then take the foil off and blast it all under the broiler until you start getting some good browning in spots.

Yeah, That's Right, I Said Cauliflower!

2008-10-29T15:17:00.000-07:00

No really, cauliflower can be mind-blowingly (how's that for an adverb?) delicious. The key is to be patient. Well, that and butter. Lots of butter. To start, cut up a whole head of cauliflower- I just cut the core out and then make half inch "steaks" out of it- you'll get some big pieces that stay together and quite a bit of little florets that will become your favorite part later when they get all caramelized and crispy and oh so slightly sweet. You need a pan that's large enough to get plenty of browning going on, and that pan needs a lid for a little bit of steaming. Place the aforementioned pan on the stove top and get it medium hot. Now add about three tablespoons of butter and let it melt until it stops foaming. Add the cauliflower. Throw a pinch of salt (kosher, please) on top. And then hurry up and wait. It'll look like this at first:
Leave it alone for awhile- it takes time for the florets on the bottom to start browning at first. Toward the end you'll have to be more vigilant. After about ten long minutes, give it a stir. Then wait some more. Repeat. Once you've got a fairly browned bunch of cauliflower put the lid on top and let it steam for about five more minutes. The following is the progression you're looking for:
The best part: the only calories to be found here are in the butter. Well, almost. The cauliflower is so low-calorie it almost takes your body more calories to digest it than what it actually gets from it. Taste for salt, probably add some pepper, and dig in. And you should click on the above picture, because it's just so pretty in that bowl, all golden brown and all.

Tastes Like Chicken, but Better

2008-10-22T15:01:00.000-07:00

This tastes like chicken because it is. But I figure everyone needs an extra way to cook up some yard bird, and this is one of my favorites. Cara's brother learned this recipe in culinary school, and I now pass it along to you. You'll need some butter, a shallot, some shrooms, a couple of tablespoons of flour, a cup of Chardonnay (which is a dry white wine for the uninitiated), a cup of heavy cream, and two cups of chicken stock. The stuff that comes from a box is fine.

Funny story: we used to attend a church in Houston where everyone brought a pot luck dish of some sort for after the service. It was really cool- everyone brought their A-game, and there were quite a few really good cooks. I usually brought something totally out of the ordinary (for them) like curries or some other Indian fare.

One day I brought this, and I thought a fight was gonna break out over who got to lick the pan. I became a far bigger rock star that day at church than I ever had been when I was actually playing in a rock band.

The next Sunday a lady asked me for the recipe, and when I told her there was, gasp, white wine in it she really had no idea how to react. She said something along the lines of, "I couldn't buy wine- I wouldn't feel right about going down that aisle at the store." To which I replied something incredibly witty, but can no longer remember. But I'm here to tell all you fellow Calvinist Credo-Baptists that read this site (all three of you. Or less)- there's flavor in those there bottles. And you don't have to drink them. Although I do recommend it. But that's just me. I used the following for this post, but use whatever you like. You know, if you like wine. Or even if you don't, cause it just ain't French without both butter and wine.And while I'm showing you pictures of stuff, this is a shallot, which you absolutely must use:Those are mushrooms in behind it. And that's our sweet new cutting board from Kohl's underneath it. Again, in case you care.

Anyway, throw some butter in a pan and get it medium hot. After seasoning with salt and pepper, dredge your boneless, skinless, usually flavorless chicken breasts though the flour. You just want a light coat so they'll get the right color. The flour also becomes fond in the pan which adds to the flavor of the sauce, and this sauce makes church ladies fight if you do it right. And that's a sight to behold. They'll look like this:
After tossing them in the butter you must leave them alone. You want them to be golden brown and delicious. You are not allowed to touch them for a long time. You can probably cook up to six chicken breasts this way and still have enough sauce, but you can always add more of the sauce ingredients to make more if you've got a lot of starving people camped out at your house, sucking the life's blood out of you. After the chicken has firmed up nicely you have my permission to flip them. The first side should look like this:
When the second side looks like the first, take them out and start making the sauce. The sauce, my friends, is what writes the songs that makes the whole world sing.

Add your diced up shallots and mushrooms to the pan and cook them down for 3-5 minutes. Then add one cup of the wine. Scrape the brown bits out of the pan while the wine is reducing (and thus concentrating the flavor). It'll take a few minutes, but it's where you want it when it looks like a thin coat of liquid in the pan. Like this:Now add the chicken stock, and reduce it down to about a quarter of what you started with. Then add the cream (turn the heat down a touch) and simmer it for about five minutes- it'll start to thicken up nicely. Add the chicken back to the pan to warm though. Then spoon some sauce on a serving plate and put the chicken on top of the puddle. Take a picture:Add something green to the occasion and open something to drink. Your choice!

Cuttin' up a Chicken

2008-10-09T14:43:00.000-07:00

Have you ever paid attention to exactly how cheap whole chickens are when they go on sale? They're, like, practically free. Or at least four bucks. And honestly, once you get good at cutting them up, you'll be blown away at how much cheaper it is to do it yourself, and how much better the pieces turn out. Boneless, skinless chicken breasts from the store look like hacked-up roadkill compared to what you can do. Plus, at home you get to keep the skin if you want, and I often do if I'm grilling them.

Instead of taking a thousand pictures and the usual witty remarks in how-to format, I made a video. The camera turned itself off right as I was about to tell you to start making homemade chicken stock with the carcass. It's funny saying "carcass" on a food post. Carcass!

Plantains- A Tex-Carib Staple

2008-08-02T13:45:00.000-07:00

I picked up a tip in Haiti about frying plantains that has made all the difference. And with the Tex-Carib policy of spending the equivalent of a month's salary in the afore-mentioned country on fancy-pants oil for frying, I think I now make plantains better than plain ol' Carib, without the Tex.

I'd attempted the nanner-lookin' fruit a few times in the past, but they were always hit or miss, heavy on the miss. And I can admit that now that I've cracked the code.

During our trip to see the boys the staff at the guest house cooked up plantains twice, but the first time I missed out. I was having some issues. You know. Third world issues.

Cara said the second batch wasn't nearly as good as the first. Of course. You should've been here an hour ago! I also missed the roasted goat, which I was really looking forward to trying.

But back to the task at hand- avoiding studying for boards.

Step One: Selection

I'm fairly certain that other than the fact that I pretty much just make up all this stuff as I go along, that the reason I had so little success with plantains in the past was the fact that I didn't know when to cook them. Figuring out when they are supposed to be ripe on the internet wasn't helping because there is no article on Wikipedia on the subject, and that's the only source I trust. I can now spare you that misery:I bought four nice plantains a week ago and today was finally the day when it was time to get down to business. So what you see pictured here to even darker is the target ripeness zone. If you find yourself with a nearly black plantain, don't throw it away. Give it to me.

Plantains, when not ripe, are starchy fruit-taters, but they're not at all sweet. If you're making plantain chips like the one they serve at the local dive Crabby Joe's, then this is what you want. If, however, you're looking to make a sweet Tex-Carib delight, wait it out. Because as they ripen they sweeten into something that would make Crabby Joe slap his momma.

Step Two: Cut the ends off.

I think that says it all, but here's a picture. Just in case.
Step Two and a Half: Peel It.

You'll want to make long scores down the side and peel off the sides. I forgot to mention this when I started this post, and I don't feel like changing all the numbers.

Step Three- Cut it Up

I prefer to cut things on the bias. That is to say, like this:
Step Four: Fry, Part (A)

The tip I picked up is this: like a well made fry, you've gotta double-fry plantains.Just get 'em mostly golden. Like this:Then let them cool off for a few minutes while you enjoy a beverage. Then smash them a little, like this:Then fry them again (Fry, Part (B)), until they're golden brown and crispy on the outside, but creamy sweet on the inside. Make sure you hit them with a pinch o' kosher salt when they're fresh out of the oil. And speaking of oil, I used coconut oil. And not just any coconut oil, cause I've tried a few brands now, and what you're about to see is by far the best, cleanest tasting oil I've tried yet:We're just about out of this stuff, and that makes me sad because it's so good I think one of the ingredients is "unicorn tears." We get it from this place, which looks to be a home-school family that keeps to themselves in Northeastern Minnesota, and spends their time reading about alternatives to the normal American diet that won't kill you. I imagine they're fans of Ron Paul too. My kind of people! I could say a lot about coconut oil, but suffice it to say that it's a saturated fat that is good for you, unlike what you may have heard from the food police/government. Read up on the Wilderness Family's site if you're interested. Or read this book if you're a true glutton for punishment. Yes, I read that book.

And yes, I realize that I quit numbering the steps it takes to make these things. I got tired of counting. You'll be okay.

Anyway, this is what you'll have at the end:
I'd suggest one plantain per person, cause I always make one for the both of us and end up coveting the wifey's share of the wealth. Oh yeah, they're right tasty with mango habanero hot sauce, too.

Cap'n Shrimpy's Butterflied Shrimp

2008-07-09T15:35:00.000-07:00

There's a man at the farmer's market that we know only as "Cap'n Shrimpy," and that we only call him to each other- never to him. He sells the best shrimp in town. There's another fish market that sells shrimp, but going into that place is like entering a parallel universe similar to the one in which elves are doing photo shoots outside my back patio. It's not a place I'm entirely comfortable in.

Anyway, for 7.50 a pound, the Cap'n will sell you these guys right here:For free he'll tell you how to butterfly them and grill them. And so will I. Check it out:

But I'm getting ahead of myself. First you have to tend to the garlic butter. Get yourself two cloves of garlic.Give them a rough dice, and then throw a pinch of kosher salt on them. We're making a paste.Now take your chef's knife and spread it across the cutting board for about ten good passes- it'll go something like this:What you now have, my friends, is gold. Put that gold, along with a stick of butter (for two people, that is) in a saucepan and get it all going at medium-low. Start this part before anything else so the butter can get right for about 20 minutes, then strain the garlic out, along with the other solids from the butter, and split it in two. One part is now to be brushed on during cooking, and the other is for dipping. We also used the mango-habanero hot sauce for dipping, and it was really, really good.

Now, back to the shrimp.

When you get 'em all prepped, they should look like this:I keep them on ice until the moment they hit the grill. I get like that sometimes.

Preheat your grill to "super-hot." Add shrimp. Baste.
It only takes about 3 minutes from the moment these bad boys hit the grill until you take them off. The shell protects them for burning and adds flavor. When they turn opaque, take 'em off and stack 'em up like gold ingots in Fort Knox.
Oh yeah.One last step for this Tex-Carib feast- put on the appropriate tunes. On vinyl if you have it.

And I do.

Enjoy. And I'll see you soon.

A Word on Hot Sauce

2008-07-08T09:53:00.000-07:00

I love me some hot sauce. I've made about a dozen variations of the kind the Taco Lady behind the farmers' market in Houston always had on hand to doctor up her delicious tacos al pastor, which were my favorite. It involves a couple of varieties of dried peppers and some soaking, simmering, and blending along with some other ingredients. It's hard to mess with it too much though, when you can buy Cholula at just about any southern grocery store.

Cholula, for the uninitiated, is all you really need to know about hot sauce. It's the same color as most of the orange grease that comes with chorizo, barbacoa, and some of the other staple meats of true behind-the-farmers' market taco stands. The ingredients are simple, too: peppers, spices, vinegar. How can you go wrong?

I love you, "spices."

Nevertheless, I get my hankerin's for something a little different sometimes. And that brings us to another tasty Tex-Carib recipe experiment.

A frequent player in the Caribbean/Tex-Carib lineup of ingredients is the habanero pepper. It looks like this:
That is to say, they look like that.

Recently, Cara and I got a Bobby Flay video on Netflix (what? Is that weird?), and he made a mango-habanero hot sauce. What I present to you now is exactly that, but with my witty banter to make it different. And I had to use a different type of vinegar for half of the vinegar needs, and I'm sure that made mine far superior to Bobby's. Yeah. That's right.

Here's what you need:
In English, that's two habaneros, two mangoes, a small sweet onion of some kind, white wine vinegar (and rice wine vinegar too, I ran out of white about halfway through), two cloves of garlic, and olive oil (Flay used canola I think, so there's another difference!).

Butcher your mango. I slice the peel off all over, then carve big chunks of fruit off the oblong shaped pit. I had about this much, keeping in mind that my hand is the size of a tennis racket:Just kidding about the hand size, of course.

I coarsely chopped the onion, galic, and peppers, and threw the whole enchilada into a sauce pan with half a cup of white wine vinegar, and half a cup of rice vinegar, and a pinch of salt. I also simmered it for 15 minutes, but I'm getting tired of talking in the past tense. I'm living for the now, baby!

Put it all in a blender.Blend. If it's too thick, add some hot water or a little more vinegar. Mine was fine as it was.The cool thing is the heat hits you first with this stuff, with a sweet mango finish.

Next time I'll show you what we had with it. There is even a bonus instructional video included in the price. Can't beat that.

Oh, yeah- I typed "Tex-Carib" into Google yesterday to see if that term is already being used, and this site came up on the first page. Sweet!

Tex-Carib Lives!

2008-07-06T16:51:00.000-07:00

I've really been thinking a lot about the culinary mindset I'm bringing back from Haiti. The ideas I'm getting, and already playing with, aren't going to get me a Nobel prize or anything, but they're fun, gosh darn it. It's kinda like the things I already like to cook and eat, but a little different. Different peppers, spices (or spice combinations), and ingredients (plantains, mangoes). But much of the technique involves things that land squarely in my arena, such as grillin', chillin', and fryin'.

Okay, so chillin' is not a technique, but it is a necessary mindset to Tex-Carib cookin'. So is ending an inordinate amount of words with apostrophes. Yo.

First up- the Haitians were selling corn, that they apparently grow in their yards or any other square foot of soil they can find, hot off the grill. A grill in Haiti, mind you, is really a grate laid across some bricks with some burning wood or charcoal underneath. Like camping, but on a sidewalk. In a city.

So how do you make sidewalk grilled corn Tex-Carib grilled corn? You experiment to make it better than the original.

Corn Three Ways- The Experiment

The corn I saw being grilled was all shucked and getting caramelized over the fire. I've always grilled my corn in the husks so they steam some too, but it's always taken a while to cook that way. So what we did was take three ears, and prepare them three different ways. One all the way shucked, one partially, and one just a wee bit. All of the shucks were rolled back and the silks removed before cooking.

The Results:
Nice picture, ain't it? You should click on it to see it full sized.

Here's the breakdown: the un-shucked ear tasted great, until we tasted the next one, and then the next one after that. The steaming action of the shuck made the corn taste "cornier," which we liked better. The solution? Grill it all with the shuck on, then remove the shuck and throw it back on the heat for a minute to get the sweet caramelized nuggets of brown.

I'm not saving the world here- I just want the grills of said world to yield tastier food. You know, in case I come over to eat. Come back soon for some Tex-Carib classics such as mango-habanero hot sauce and Cap'n Shrimpy's butterflied grilled shrimp, which make this corn look like a side dish.

Spring Break Breakfast

2008-03-21T07:44:00.001-07:00

Another quarter is behind me- five down to be precise. Today I woke up free of concern about final exams. This made me hungry. It also just so happens that the morning light is the best around here for food pictures, so you get to see how I make what we often call the "bird's nest." Start by peeling and then grating a large russet potato. Squeeze some of the excess moisture out of it with some paper towels and then season with salt and pepper.
The scallion will make its contribution later. While you're making your coffee or tea (green tea for me, please), heat up a dutch oven, cast iron skillet, or even non-stick pan to medium low or so. I put my range top on three and a half, but like my bass amp, it goes to 11. Fill it with copious amounts of butter. And please- use real butter. It's what Mary says, and Mary knows her fats.

Next, heap half of your tater pile into the heated vessel of your choice. Then make it look more or less like a circle, or whatever shape you decide upon. There is lots of room for individual expression here. I'm a circle man:
The morning light doesn't quite spread its warmth to the bottom of the pan in this case, but you get the idea.

Now for the hard part- walk away for about five minutes. Leave it alone. Let it get crispy.

Then flip it and repeat. Then put it on a plate and take a picture. It should look like this, but with your plate, not mine:
You should have enough to make another one. Do it. The grated taters don't keep, and your spouse won't be happy when you go eating breakfast without them. Everyone wins, except the tater. This gets called "The Bird Nest" because we always throw an egg on top, and today we happened to have a just-oh-so avocado on hand. The final product looked like this for about three minutes:
It was all then appropriately hot sauced, and consumed with passion. See you at the gym!

Chicken! Prunes! Brandy!

2008-01-06T11:11:00.000-08:00

Apparently, we now have a subscription to Bon Appetite magazine. Neither Cara nor I remember subscribing or anything, but it showed up in the mail box all the same. We did have some old airline miles that may be playing a role in this, but whatever.

I once looked through a Bon Appetite in a waiting room or some such, and I remember not knowing what any of the ingredients were- it was a all so darn fancy. Shallots? Demi-glace? Huh? Of course, that was a long time ago, before my freakish cooking obsession really hit hard. Now I'll have another source of inspiration to share with you- my primary source, by the way, is Cook's Illustrated, which is the best cookin' magazine around. No, really.

Anyhow- I know many people think prunes are something old people eat to stay regular. Some have begun to call them "dried plums" so people will know what they actually are- and you like plums, don't you? You could make this without them, but that would be a mistake.

First, open a bottle of brandy. For all my church friends reading this that means you'll have to go to a liquor store. Liquor stores are often closed on Sunday, by the way. I always realize this on Sundays when I need some liquor, but that's another post altogether.

There is probably a brand that would be the best for this recipe, but since I know very little about brandy, I just bought something in the mid range in price- the recipe in the magazine called for "Armagnac," which after doing some "research" (thanks, internet!) I have discovered that, yes, Armagnac is expensive, fancy-pants brandy that they probably wouldn't sell at Walgreen's Liquors here in town. As a matter of fact, I know they don't. They do sell about ten kinds of cheap brandy, though. I got E&J for no real reason. It worked fine.

I really more or less looked at the picture in the magazine and skimmed the recipe than copy it exactly, by the way. I did, as the recipe says, boil the prunes (I used about eight of 'em) in 1/3 cup of brandy until the liquid was absorbed.

I then broke out my sweet buffet casserole braiser and browned four chicken thighs skin side down (after I had salted and peppered them that is- kosher salt, please).
Before: After:
They're not all the way cooked yet or anything- the skin just needs some alone time to get lookin' that good. Next- I poured out a little bit of the accumulated fat (not much), and threw in the freshly peeled shallots:
The goal here is to get 'em all browned and delicious. Like this:
Next, you've gotta deglaze the pan with some more (1/3 cup) brandy- this means pour it in and get to scraping the fond (brown stuff stuck to pan) up to make the sauce rich and delicious. Like this:
Now you're in the home stretch. Just add the chicken back to the pan with a little thyme, and about a cup of chicken stock, and put the lid on as it simmers away for about half and hour.
After the chicken was cooked through I took it out, and added a dash of white wine vinegar (the recipe said sherry wine vinegar, but I didn't have any). I reduced the sauce for a few minutes and poured it over the chicken. in the mean time I cooked up some broccoli and taters. It looked like this at the end:
Here's the picture from the magazine and my version side by side:
So, to sum up you need:
brandy
chicken
chicken stock
shallots
prunes
thyme
salt and pepper

And the secret ingredient:

Love

In other news, I just had my first ever political telephone poll. Go Ron Paul!

The Essentials Part Two: Want vs. Need

2007-12-24T09:38:00.000-08:00

Some of the things I use every day in the kitchen are, in the world of MRP, needs, not just wants. On the top of the list in the needs category is a really good knife. I've gone back and forth about the differences between German and Japanese made knives. I have both- the Henckels five star series representing Germany, and the beauty below speaking for Japan. She's a Shun and she's become my favorite.

Notice the purty wavy lines. Like a Samurai sword.

There is much to say about knives. The main thing is this: get a good one. It'll make your life in the food prep department so much easier you'll actually want to cook even if you don't think you like cooking. And for the rest of what there is to say about knives, I give you Alton Brown:

This teapot is a want but it sure is nice to have. I start my day off with a cup of green tea in lieu of coffee. Like a Samurai.
Sauciers are more of a need at this point in my game. They're great for making a lot more than sauces, too. The Caribbean blue one is made by Le Creuset, the shiny one is All Clad.

The next items are definitely needs. You can't cook without shallots, garlic, or olive oil. I realize that these are ingredients, but what good are all the fancy pants pans without the right things to put in them?

You want prep bowls. You can measure out everything you need, if you're into measuring, which I'm not. It's still nice to have some place to out all the stuff I slice and dice before it goes in the pot. These have lids, too, which is nice when I over slice and/or dice.
And all this other stuff is mostly want, with a few need. You absolutely need some good tongs. These are made by Oxo, and they're my favorite. I have one other pair, but they were in the dishwasher. That's why I have three- cause one is always in the dishwasher. Whisks make the creation of sauces much easier. The wooden spoon I include because of its beautiful patina. I've been working on that stain for over ten years.
Now you know what to get yourself when you start returning all those unwanted Christmas gifts.

The squirrels are getting feisty around here, so that means it's blowgun time. I'll try to get some video for all the dudes who read this site in hopes of more lung-powered mayhem. Merry Christmas.

The Essentials, Part One

2007-12-22T08:52:00.000-08:00

If I've ever come to your house to cook something, I probably brought a few tools to the party. If I didn't, I probably wished I had. Here's why: Most people don't have some of the basic weapons of war for the modern culinary warrior. And if I say it like that it sounds way more masculine than, "you don't have good tongs or a zester."

I've been meaning to post this info for awhile, but I kept putting it off because I was busy learning huge lists of anatomy and neurology at school. Now that the tests are over and the lists are forgotten I can get back to the important things in life. This episode of The Essentials will focus on cooking vessels. You do, however, need a good pair of tongs.

Item number one- A cast iron skillet. If you've hung out here at all you've seen this a few times:Just look at her. So shiny. So smooth and glassy. This is a Griswold skillet, which aren't made anymore. Cara's grandmother gave it to me. I have several other skillets in several sizes, but this one is special. I often scramble eggs in her with no sticking. You don't have to have a Griswold, but you should have a cast iron skillet. Lodge makes good ones for cheap. And you too will be able to pass yours along to your grandson-in-law one day because they last forever. You can get a Griswold on ebay if you want to go old school.

Next on the list of essentials-the Dutch oven. Want to convert a cheap cut of meat into a succulent main course that melts in your mouth? Then you need to master the art of braising. If it weren't for braising we'd be in trouble these days while we're getting by on a student loan budget. Braising is essentially simmering something in a little liquid of some sort (which usually ends up becoming a sauce) for a long time until collagen breaks down and the target food gets tender. Pot roast comes to mind, but there is so much more. Do yourself a favor and get Molly Steven's All About Braising. I've made many of the recipes in that book, and they've all been home runs. The big difference between a Dutch oven and a slow cooker is the fact that you can sear meats and caramelize onions in a Dutch oven, and a slow cooker just slow cooks.

Pictured below are three of my favorites. Up first is my go-to pot. It's just the right size (4 quarts?) for the two of us, and, hey, I like the color too. It's a Staub:
Next up, another favorite- the Le Creuset. If you watch the Food Network at all you've seen one of these. Le Creuset is the most famous Dutch (they say "French" because they're, um, French. Whatever.) oven on the planet among the foody crowd. And again, I like the color. This one is 5.5 quarts. I think.
I saved Old Faithful for last. This Lodge Dutch oven is the stuff of cowboy legend. If I had to live on the trail this would be my pot of choice. The only drawback to the non-enameled cast iron is the fact that acidic foods like tomatoes and wine can taste a little metallic if left in the pot too long. I love cooking potatoes in this bad boy. I get them crispy on the outside and then steam them a little with the lid on. Speaking of lids- both the Staub and the Lodge lids have convex dimples that redirect the condensation back onto the food, which acts as a self-basting mechanism.
Now that I've done some frying in the Lodge , she has a good non-stick surface. Makes those taters really easy to make. I love black, shiny surfaces.I've gotta go make some taters now, so I'll stop here.
Next post: Knives!

Fish n' Chips

2007-08-22T17:48:00.000-07:00

I warn you, what you are about to read is going to inspire you, and the results just may not be too healthy. There. You've been warned. I made this for the first time a few weeks ago, Cara took the photos, and now guilt compels me to write this up, since we had it again tonight. I just can't continue to allow myself to deprive humanity from the crispiest fish ever eaten. The fries are most excellent too. All in all, this is one of the best monochromatic plates of food you've ever eaten.

The first thing you gotta do, is get yourself some fish. I used some Orange Roughy that was on sale at our local grocery store (Publix- a name I still can't seem to get used to). It's a nice white fish that comes in fairly thick fillets. Cod or any other white fish would work too. Step one- cut your fish into the perfect sized fryable pieces. That's right- "fryable." Observe:Step two- cut four taters into French fry shapes. I made mine into slightly less than 1/2 inch planks of love. No need for a picture. Cause we didn't take one. It does make it easier to cut the sides flat so that you have a rectangular shaped cubey thing. I'm sure there's a geometry term for it, but I'm too lazy to check. Once you have the afore mentioned shape, cut it into fries.

The secret to the perfect homemade fries is the "double fry." DFing ensures a perfect inner texture with a crispy exterior. Trust me. But before you fry them even once, you've got to pre-cook them just a touch. Just coat them in oil, then cover them and microwave them for five minutes. They'll look like this:In the meantime, start heating your oil. Go for about 350 degrees, or so I'm told. To be honest, I can tell by looking at it when it's hot enough. I have a deep cast iron frying vessel, which is perfect for this recipe for the two of us, but if I were having a fish n' chips party I'd break out my Dutch oven. It's what Bobby Flay does, and that dude can cook. Fry your fries the first time for about six minutes.

Healthy!

I used peanut oil, which is also what Bobby Flay uses. Please review the warning at the top of this post.

Once Fry-Down Part One is complete, mix up your batter for the fish. You'll need a cup and a half of flour; a half a cup of corn starch; a couple of big pinches of salt; a teaspoon each of cayenne pepper, paprika and, baking powder; and a few grinds of black pepper. And a beer.

Whisk everything but the baking powder and beer together, and reserve 3/4 cups on a pie plate (or a regular plate or whatever- you're going to dredge the fish through it twice before you're done). After you have your reserve set aside add the baking powder and then the beer. Stir it up until it's just incorporated. There will be some lumps, but that's cool. The batter will be very thin- when you pull your stirring device out, it will run off in rivulets. So now you have a wet beer batter, and a pile of heart healthy flour and cornstarch. Dredge (cookin' term for "drag") the fish in the dry pile, then dip it into the wet, and take it for one last romp through the dry. set each piece aside until you've got your fish piled up like gold bricks in Fort Knox. Delicious gold bricks that go great with malt vinegar that is:

Next step: fry 'em. Golden brown, please.
Oh yeah.

Now refry the fries until they too are golden brown.

Get yourself a bowl of malt vinegar, a pile of ketchup, and go to town. London town, that is.

I hope this post makes up for my absence of late- neuroanatomy is hard. I have a few ideas for other food related posts, as well as a general status of our days in Florida post, but for now, eat yourself some delicious fish. And check back soon.

Dessert!

2007-07-03T11:52:00.000-07:00

Grilled peaches and figs (yes, figs. They're good.) topped with mascarpone cheese and honey-lemon sauce. So simple there is really no need to say anything else.Well, okay, I'll say this: grilled peaches and ice cream are also super good. Or just grilled peaches by themselves. Or figs. I'm just trying to burn up some space so the first thing people see won't be a dead mouse when they open this page.

It's About Time

2007-06-22T12:52:00.002-07:00

It's with no small sense of irony that I finally post here on Medium Rare Please the way I cook my steaks. That is to say medium rare. When I was teaching I gave a once a year lesson that became legendary with the boys in my classes- the "how to grill the perfect steak" lesson. I justified this action as a "note taking exercise," but the reality was I just liked talking about this kind of stuff, and the kids were happy to talk about anything other than grammar. I almost always received an email or two from parents afterwards thanking me for the lesson after their 12 year old blew 'em away with a tasty dinner.

First step: the rub. There are rubs a plenty available in the grocery store, but there's nothing to making your own, and then you can say you did it. Also it's way cheaper to make a big batch of your own, which is important to us now that we're living on student loans for the next two and a half years. For the rub you need a container with a lid; it really doesn't matter what size you use because we're going to deal in proportions instead of precise measurements, ya dig?

The rub serves two purposes- first it imparts your own special flavor to your meat (or veggies if you want), and second, it gives you something to do while your grill is getting hot enough. Start by adding three parts brown sugar to your container. This is an essential ingredient, unlike all the others. If you look at any store bought rub, it'll be the first thing on its list of what's inside. It also adds a hint of sweetness that will contrast nicely with the heat of any chili powder you might add, which you should. The next ingredient, by the way, is chili powder. I make this about one and a half parts, or about half of the amount of brown sugar. Then after that it's pretty much a free for all. I add pinches of this and that, and smell and taste as I go. Onion powder, garlic powder, ground cumin, and coriander usually make the cut. Spanish smoked paprika, and dried thyme went in my last batch too, and that worked out quite well. I don't put salt in it because I like to control the exact amount that goes on, and that's hard to do when I can't see it. I added a tablespoon of coffee in my current batch, and it will now be a permanent member of the family. Once you've got everything in the container put the lid on and shake it until your arms hurt. Voila: you've got rub.

Now, go turn on your grill, if it's a gas grill, and let it start getting super hot. Not just hot, super hot. You want grill marks, don't you? Eat with your eyes before your mouth. Once the grill is on, apply rub to one or both sides of your steak. Cara actually prefers salt and pepper only with a decent steak, and I can respect that, but on lesser cuts of meat (fajitas and such) I rub it all up. The sugar in the rub will then begin to melt and combine with the other ingredients making a glossy red finish on the steak. By the time it looks like that, you're ready to grill. Don't forget the salt when you apply the rub, almost forgot that part. I prefer kosher salt in case you care.

Now for the important part- the grillin'. Like I said, I get the grill mega-super hot. This is important for the maillard effect, which is a fancy way of saying "meat brownin'." Contrary to popular belief, searing your meat does not, I repeat, not, "seal in the juices." It does make meat taste better, so you should do it. It also makes it look better. So you should do it. Now that your grill is mega-super hot, lay your steaks on at a 45 degree angle to the grate. Like this:I apologize for the flash photography, but the smoke was making the camera focus on the smoke and not the steak. Now, and this is very important, leave it alone. Walk away for a minute if you have to, but if you want these to look like they were lifted out of a commercial, you've got to trust me on this. And you should be using tongs for all handling of the meat. Got that? No forks or other stabby implements. You want juice in your meat, right? Then don't stab, cut or otherwise impale your food until it's time to eat it. Okay, now that a couple of minutes have passed, rotate your steaks until they're 45 degrees to the other side of the grate, or 90 degrees from where you had 'em. However you want to think about it. Like this:By the way, I do my veggies the same way. Sharing the grill is some squash with a little olive oil and salt and pepper.

So how do I know exactly when to turn things over? By touching what I've cooked over the years I've developed a feel for how done things are. Really spongy= raw, and really hard=well done, not that I've ever cooked a steak well done in my life. As the name of this site would suggest, I like my steak closer to the spongy end of the spectrum. You should too. When it's been another minute or two, flip 'em and repeat the process. Nothing is more satisfying than flipping your steak to see this:Looks good, huh? After you repeat the process and take them off the heat, you've got one more thing to do: wait. Do not cut into that steak until it's had a chance to rest for five minutes. This gives the juices time to redistribute, keeping them from running all over the plate once you cut into it. This makes every bite juicy instead of only the first bite. So there you go. Follow these simple steps and your next slab o' beef will be too good to ever bother eating at a steak house again.

Cooking = Art?

2007-06-18T05:09:00.000-07:00

If you known me for any length of time you know that I've gone through many phases of artsyness. My first foray into the world of self expression was the visual arts. I even had an art scholarship at Alvin Community College (now that is something to be proud of)- where I painted this:
Which is about four feet tall, and even scarier in real life. I quit painting when I started playing bass, which is mode of self-expression number two. I still play bass, and since I've been in Florida I've begun to gravitate toward more funky, island style bass lines. We'll just have to see if I come up with anything remotely original in that department. I have a friend that plays guitar and leads worship at a local church that I'd like to play with if we can ever get a break from the constant studying.

I did paint once more, by the way, for my old band's second album cover:
I thought it came out fairly well given the ten year lapse between painting projects.

So, I've covered art from the visual media, as well as the auditory. But cooking covers all the senses. Great chefs (and me) know that you eat with your eyes before you eat with your mouth. Therefore the presentation of the food appeals to the visual sense. Smell and taste should be fairly obvious for the intelligent crowd that visits this site. Preparing the food with the slicing and dicing and stirring and all that covers the tactile/kinesthetic senses. What else is left? Hearing you say? How is that covered? One of my favorite sounds is the moment diced onions hit a hot pan. Also high on my list of things to hear is the phrase, "dinner's ready."

And one more thing about the art of cooking. You gotta eat.

Like Migas, Just Better

2007-05-05T14:02:00.000-07:00

One of my favorite breakfast menu items in Houston is migas, which is peppers and onions scrambled in some eggs with pieces of corn tortilla thrown in the mix. They usually have tomatoes in them too. This isn't Houston though, so I have to make 'em myself, which isn't so bad because these are better anyway. I made these for a little family brunch one time, and I think certain members are still feuding about who got the last bite.

Warning: most of what you are about to see doesn't quite qualify as anti-inflammatory menu items. This morning I felt like I needed a break from my non-miga eatin' ways. I've lost about 15 pounds since we've been in Florida, and you know, every once in a while, you've got to eat some pork fat. Just ask Emeril. Today was one of those days.

You may be asking yourself why this particular recipe is better than the original. If not, I'll tell you anyway: texture.

The old school way of making migas is good, but the tortillas are cooked with the eggs and they get soft. I like crispy. Mine also has bacon to add to the whole crispy side of the equation. Start by frying some Alabama style. What's that? You don't know about Alabama style bacon frying? Allow me to enlighten you. Do it reeeealy slow. It'll turn out much more even and crispy and delicious:
Ain't that pretty?

Next, remove the bacon and fry some tortilla strips in the bacon "renderings." Make no apologies for doing this.
Once the strips are crispy take them out and toss a pinch o' kosher salt on them. Now dice up an onion and a jalapeño or two. Throw it in the grease. Stir it all around a bit and let it cook until the onions start to barely brown and get soft. While that's going on lightly beat a couple of eggs. When the onions and peppers are just right, make a well out of them in the middle of the pan like so:
And pour the eggs in the middle. This way if your range top isn't perfectly level, which seems to be the case in most of the free world, your eggs will stay in the cookin' zone. It also gives the eggs a chance to cook before becoming one with the other stuff in the pan. Tomatoes could go in just before the eggs, by the way, but I'm still waiting on some to grow out back.
By the way, if you notice, I'm scrambling eggs in a cast iron skillet. I've heard it mentioned on the Food Network a few times that cast iron is good for just about everything but scambling eggs. This particular skillet however, is a Griswold. They don't make them anymore, Cara's grandmother (mom's side) gave me, er, us this one. It was made in the 50s I would guess, and it's seasoned to perfection. Eggs don't stick to this bad boy. Check it out:
No egg residue here. Thanks, Meemaw. Once you've got what you see above, add it to the pile of crispy bacon and crispy crispies you've got waiting to be made complete. It looks like this:

I don't know how to say bon appetite in Spanish, but that's what I mean.

Medium Rare International

2007-05-04T11:34:00.001-07:00

I was reading my old friend (not that we're all that old or anything. Really.) Christy's blog a few days ago and she suggested that people put counters on their sites. This gives one the ability to see what countries your visitors are in, how many visitors a day you get as well as a ton of other nifty features that can either fuel or destroy the fantasy that anyone actually reads this stuff.

Now keep in mind here that I thought that only a handful of people knew about this thing, and out of that handful there would only be, well, less than a handful that cared. Don't hear me saying that the people who read do care, I wouldn't want to be that presumptuous. But like I said, part of the statistics being kept are the countries from where these posts are being read. Or at least accidentally clicked on for two seconds. MRP is international baby! Check it out:

United States

141

Germany

Italy

Spain

Romania

Argentina

United Kingdom

So the question of the day is this: what's the dealio, yo? Where are you? How did you get here?
I suppose that's three questions, but I am curious. So if you're in a country other than Texas, say hello. Everyone else- meet my new friends.

Carnitas!

2007-05-01T17:05:00.000-07:00

I don't speak much Spanish, but I think "carnitas" means "taco that can make Jack Bauer/Chuck Norris cry." And not because of the heat, although they do have a kick. The best thing about them, at least until I graduate, is the fact that making them is so cheap. After the money kicks in the best thing about them is the fact that they're so darn good. So how do you make 'em? Let us begin.

First, you need a big ol' hunk of fatty pork. I used a "pork shoulder picnic roast." Whatever that is. In Houston, if you happen to be in that neighborhood, the stores sell, "pork for carnitas," which makes it easy. But a big hunk o' pork is a big hunk o' pork. If it's fatty, you're in the right place.

Once the pork is procured, dice it into one inch cubes, like so:
Then salt and pepper 'em. I like using "salt" and "pepper" as verbs. It just feels right. Now for the esoteric ingredient of the day. You ever see those dusty lookin' dried peppers at the store and wondered what it is that people do with them? I'll tell you. They simmer them in salted water until they get soft. This takes 20-30 minutes. I use a combination of chili de arbol and New Mexico Red Chilis. They look like this:
The skinny ones are the chili de arbol. They're a little on the hot side.

Once you can easily pierce them with a fork, it's time for the blender. Don't burn yourself, and please don't rub your eye anytime during the handling of these things. I only show the next picture because I think our blender looks cool.
I pour some of the pepper water (a little more than pictured) in the blender to get the right consistency for the sauce it's about to become. That consistency would be about that of heavy cream. Mmmm, cream. Add salt- kosher salt is my go to rock for cooking.

Next, take the cubes o' pork and sear them until the outside is brown and the house has a smell that could convert the most fervent vegetarian. I show the next picture because the pot I cooked these things in is also very cool. And I know that people like pictures a lot more than my writing.
Once you get everything browned up, and that is an important step (it's known as the maillard effect, for all you fans of Alton Brown) take the pork out and throw in a finely diced onion. Cook it until it gets nice and soft and porky. Now it's time to add the pork back in and the braising liquid from the blender. By the way, that braising liquid makes a really good hot sauce. I add a little raw garlic, and a thimble full of champagne vinegar to it for that particular incarnation. Let the whole thing simmer for as long as you can stand it. I try for four to six hours, but I usually can't wait that long. It keeps getting better as the days go by until it's all gone. That's usually not too long around these parts. Grab yourself a tortilla, some sour cream if you're into that, and that's about it. It comes with it's own sauce. I threw a little cilantro on top since it's growing right out back and all.
Enjoy!

Once More, with Feeling

2007-04-09T09:58:00.000-07:00

They put two crusts in a package, and I barely got to know the last quiche before it was gone, so I made one more. This time I used basil and chives from our little herb garden for the greenery, bacon and caramelized onions came to the party again, and I put some chopped flat leaf parsley on top. You know, for the pictures:

I just couldn't decide which ones to use, so I used my favorite three. And just in case you didn't think I was serious about posting a video of how to cut up an onion:

How to Dice an Onion

Add to My Profile | More Videos

I've really gotta do something about how stupid I sound when I talk.

Illustrated Guide to the Best Quiche Ever

2007-04-07T07:46:00.000-07:00

Remember the book that came out in the early eighties called Real Men Don't Eat Quiche? I was 12 when it came out- and at the time I didn't know what quiche was. Nor did I know about caramelized onions. I was probably on the indifferent side of bacon and swiss cheese too. Thankfully, those days have passed. I'm all growed up now- and I think I pass the Real Man Test. I like shootin' guns and fishin', I pray with my wife, and I, uh, make the best quiche you've ever eaten. A paradox? No, my friends, not hardly. Make this quiche and see if you don't want to go buy a muscle car immediately. Plus, did I mention it has bacon?

Step one: Fry bacon in little bite sized squares. How much bacon? Depends on how manly you are. This was a little under half a pack for one quiche. Fry it till it's crispy delicious.

Next, take out your favorite knife (mine is the Shun chef's knife seen here). Notice on the clock behind me that we got started waaay late on this little project.

Cut up one largeish sweet onion into a nice medium dice. I'll be posting a video how-to lesson for dicing an onion sometime soon, because it just makes life so much better.

So as not to waste the "bacon renderings" we'll be caramelizing the onions in it. You could use butter or olive oil, if you're a sissy. Start it off on medium or so heat just to get some of the moisture out of the onions. Once they've become translucent turn the heat down to low, and give the onions a stir every five minutes or so. Throw a pinch o' kosher salt in too.
When the onions have become a caramel/mahogany color it means the sugars have reached their peak flavor. This means delicious factor redline. Preheat your oven to 350.

Now take two eggs a pinch of salt, and a cup of heavy cream and make them one. It's a commonly known fact that heavy cream and bacon grease cancel each other out. Or something like that. The mixture, as all fans of Good Eats know, is called a "Royale." You can put a quarter teaspoon of nutmeg in the royale if you choose (and aren't you always looking for something to add a little nutmeg to?). Grate about a cup of cheese- I used swiss- and put it in your pie crust. I used a frozen crust- the only one in the store that was made with lard. add your onions and bacon, and anything else you want to put in this bad boy. To make ours healthy I added about a quarter cup of spinach. I'm sure that balances out all that fat. Plus, the green adds a nice color to the many shades of yellow and red I had so far. Add the royale. Then, once all your ingredients are in, add a little more cheese to the top. You know, for color. It'll brown up nicely. This is what it'll look like before the oven gets it:
45 long minutes later and it's out of the oven. Then begins the longest 15 minutes of your life because it has to rest. Then you get this guy:

You can go ahead and try not to mangle the first slice, I wasn't successful this time. Not that it mattered, because I ate the first slice in about ten seconds.

We were able to save two slices for breakfast this morning. Give it a try, and let me know how it goes. I'm not responsible if you grow any chest hair though. This quiche is that manly.